Angst and Piano
by PistolxSweetheart
Summary: Edward Cullen struggles with his conflicting thoughts about Bella.


My fingers flew across the piano keys lightly, almost as if they had a life of their own. One, two, three, one, two, three; a waltz rhythm. My mind was elsewhere. I was home alone, and grateful for the silence. Though my family often tried to conceal their thoughts, it was often to no avail. I couldn't help hearing their opinions about my latest problems with the Swan girl, Bella.

Alice had dragged Jasper off shopping for the fourth day in a row. Her latest obsession in the world of shopping was cooking utensils. It was a nonsensical interest, yes, but a rather entertaining one. In the past few days, we had acquired a cheese grater, a meat thermometer, and a pastry brush, among other things. I smiled crookedly at the thought; perhaps my sister planned to get a career as a chef.

Rosalie and Emmett were in Seattle for the day, looking at the latest styles in wedding apparel. I pitied Emmett with some amusement, knowing that he would spend the entirety of the day looking at dresses that would be out of fashion by the time their wedding actually took place; no doubt years in the future.

My traitorous mind seemed intent on thinking about a certain teenaged girl, who just happened to be the daughter of the Forks police chief. Sighing, I continued to play, improvising. It felt good; an outlet for my frustration.

Esme and Carlisle had supposedly gone out of town to a doctor's convention. Actually, they had taken the day for hunting. Esme had made quite an argument to stay home- she was worried about me. I could hear it, the ever-present concern for each of us she had in her mind. My recent interaction with Isabella Swan had her constantly wondering how I was. I insisted to my mother than a hunting trip with Carlisle would be good for her. I would be quite fine. I eventually won the argument, though Esme left with some doubt.

The sound of a human nearby made me look up quickly. My thoughts immediately turned to Bella- I shook my head roughly. It was a completely and totally unimaginable thought, and I should be ashamed of myself. The object of my alarm was only the mailman, walking slowly to our mailbox. His thoughts were scattered and nervous- I heard of a divorce. Infidelity.

I hastily removed myself from his head- I had no business being there, anyway. The man's marital problems were none of my concern. To keep myself out of his mind, I let my thoughts wander. Naturally, they landed on Bella Swan.

The face of the girl who seemed to exist only for my torment drifted into my mind. She was beautiful, if I was being honest with myself; everything about her was human. Natural. Her brown eyes were so compassionate, so warm. So unlike mine.

Bella Swan had the gift of something she didn't even fully grasp the value of: Humanity. And this gift was a part of her every breath, every dream, every moment. It was something she had in common with every other human on the earth. Something I would never have again.

As if of it's own accord, my mental depiction of her was changing. Bella's skin was suddenly alabaster. All at once, her human softness was gone. There were no imperfections; everything about her had become cold, fierce, feral. Her hair glistened with impossible shine. Her sharp teeth were blindingly white as she smiled predatorily. Everything about her was wrong.

Bella was suddenly a monster; all traces of her mortality had disappeared. I noticed her eyes last, though they were surely the worst change. Staring forbiddingly: cold, dead and beautiful.

Two blood-red diamonds gazed back at me.

"No!" I stood up quickly, sending the piano bench into a nearby wall, where it promptly cracked. A seething rage coursed through me; the horrible thought of her, cold and _savage_, made me sick.

I stayed at the spot, panting, momentarily ignoring the fact that I didn't need to. The door opened and I looked up swiftly, teeth bared, eyes angry. My own thoughts had distracted me from those of my siblings. Alice and Jasper walked through the door, carrying a multitude of plastic shopping bags.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice called from the doorway. "You'll never guess what Jasper and I got! Well, actually, you would, but I don't want you to. That'd be unfair. Aren't you going to guess? Oh, all right, I'll tell you- it's a cooking sp-"

Alice broke off as she looked at me, her eyes widening with every passing second. Jasper was right behind her, sending out waves of emotion. Calm, presumably for me, and his own confusion.

"Edward," he started, trying to calm me down.

I turned away from my siblings and walked upstairs to my room without uttering another word.


End file.
